My Yuletide Earl: A Wallflower’s Christmas Wish Read online

  Jack’s lips pressed together and his fist clenched at his side. “She tasted like shortbread. Sugary sweet with a hint of vanilla.” The memory made him ache. He wanted to go back. Kiss her again.

  “Noelle tasted of ginger crisps.”

  Jack let out a long slow breath. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m begging you to tell me every damned detail of your feelings concerning Noelle.” He didn’t want to discuss Holly anymore. He’d made the wrong choice leaving. He should have begged her to be his wife. Promised to love her. Did he? Love her? His breath caught in his throat.

  Dash snapped the reins again. “You’re just saying that so I stop asking you questions.”

  “Precisely,” Jack answered. “So, let’s see. We left off with you being a stubborn ass.”

  Dash clenched a fist in the reins. “No. I was not the stubborn ass. She didn’t want to listen to me. Remember?”

  Jack shook his head. “You asked for this. She reacted in a normal manner, throwing a typical female tantrum that she would quickly overcome and twenty minutes later be perfectly willing to converse with you rationally. You, however, loaded yourself into a sleigh and left for where she cannot follow, thereby closing the door, not just for the night as she did, but forever.” Jack thumped the side of the sleigh with his open hand. “Making you the much larger and more stubborn ass.”

  “Fuck,” Dash said looking down at his lap.

  “Precisely,” Jack added.

  “My mother hated my father,” Dash said as he stared off into the trees. “Being a duke means that women want to marry that shiny title, but who’s to say if they care one wit for the man attached to it.”

  Jack gave a single nod. “I understand. More than you know.” His friend let out a long sigh. “But Noelle didn’t love your title, she didn’t even know you had it.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut. “I wanted to protect myself. But I’ve ruined everything.”

  Jack didn’t answer for a while and the silence stretched between them. He’d been trying to protect himself as well. But he wasn’t certain that it had worked. He ached being away for her even now. But better to have gotten this over with before he really had gotten hurt. Right? “You don’t know that. In fact, you won’t know until you go back and ask her.”

  “But what if she still doesn’t want me?”

  “Then you’ll know. And you won’t have to live with the regret of having never tried.” Those words reverberated in his chest. His situation was different. Another rejection might crush him. And to give away his heart again…it was too much to bear.

  “Is there time to return tonight?”

  Jack rubbed his hands together. “Not without changing out the horses.”

  Dash grimaced. “We’ll stay in the next village and then return first thing in the morning.”

  “Wise choice,” Jack answered. “Gives me time to think my situation through as well.”

  “Does thinking your situation through involve ale?”

  “Pints and pints of it,” Jack gave him a small grin. “We’re nearly there, I’d wager. Pick up the pace, old man.”

  Dash grunted. “For an earl, you’ve got a rather large chip on your shoulder.”

  Jack didn’t reply. He wished Holly had said yes when he’d proposed. In fact this entire thing would be easier if she’d just become his wife. He could bind her to him without the entanglement of love.

  Chapter Nine

  Holly lounged against the side of the carriage, pretending to sleep. Noelle had been easy to coerce into this trip, thanks to their chat with the Marquess of Merriweather. Now they sat in a dark, cold carriage, the sound of snow crunching under the wide wheels, the only noise for miles. Well, that and the sound of her thudding heart.

  Noelle shifted next to her, clearly not sleeping either. Holly had yet to tell her sister about Jack and his proposal. Noelle had enough on her plate. But she was tempted to ask her sister for advice. His letter had been a confession. He’d had his heart broken. But he neither asked for her forgiveness for leaving nor a second chance. Why had he told her? Clearly, he cared enough to explain.

  Holly drew in a deep breath. She had no idea what she might find when she finally tracked down her rake. Would he be glad to see her or had that letter been a goodbye? Her insides quivered with fear but it was too late to turn back now.

  Besides, she knew her own heart. What had first appeared to be lust had quickly turned into the love she’d sought all along. Holly wasn’t certain when it had happened but she’d fallen in love with her rake. She wished to soothe his hurts and caress away his fears. If that wasn’t love, she didn’t know what was.

  It took another hour but they finally arrived at the next village, candles lighting the inside of the inn. How far had Jack made it tonight? They knew where Dash lived, of course, but she didn’t have a clue where to find Jack in London.

  But she pushed those fears down. She’d find a way. She had to.

  Stepping into the Wavering Goat, she scanned the common room. Dimly she heard the innkeeper tell Noelle there were no rooms available, but she couldn’t attend the words. Her gaze stopped at a table where two men sat. Her hand covered her heart as her gaze clashed with a set of dark brown eyes. Jack.

  He stood, his chair scraping against the floor as she drew in a sharp breath. Now that she was here, she didn’t have a clue what to say. Should she confess her feelings? Ask him to repeat his offer?

  Perhaps she should press her lips to his and trust that they’d find the correct path together.

  He crossed the room and the moment his hand slipped under her elbow, all her worries melted away.

  “What are you doing here?” He leaned down, his words whooshing across her ear.

  She swallowed, moving closer to him. “Noelle needed a companion and I—” What did she say. “I wanted to talk with you. I’ve wanted to discuss what you asked in the grove all day.”

  He grimaced, his other hand coming to her waist. “I’ve several regrets too. But this is a conversation we should have in a more private location.”

  She nodded as he led her toward the stairs. “Noelle and I will have to return tonight. There are no rooms for us. I heard the innkeeper say as much.”

  Jack’s hand tightened at her waist. “Let’s worry about that after we’ve talked. Noelle and Dash have a great deal to say as well.”

  “I’m sure they do, but right this moment, I’m more concerned about what you’ll say.” She stopped on the stairs, turning toward him. “I appreciated your letter but you’ve avoided me all day. I had to travel through the night—”

  He leaned down and softly placed his lips over hers. The kiss was soft and achingly sweet. “I’m sorry about that, sweetheart.”

  “I’m sorry too.” His words soothed her fears. “When I said no, I didn’t realize…”

  “I know you didn’t.” He started them up the stairs again. “And I know you had a very good reason for answering as you did. I am trying to move past what happened five years ago. It’s just going to take me some time.”

  Holly’s heart near burst at the words. There was so much hope in his answer that her heart skipped several beats. He stopped in front of a door and inserted a key, ushering her inside. “That is so good to hear.”

  Jack kissed her again, long and slow, stealing her air, and making her heart race in her chest. He pulled her close, his heat warming her after the cold ride in the carriage. “Don’t worry about where you’ll sleep tonight. I’ll not send you back in the freezing cold so late at night. You’ll stay here where you’re safe.”

  Then he dipped his head again, taking her mouth and slanting her lips open. Gently, he touched his tongue to hers and her insides melted into a warm pile of goo.

  When he finally lifted his head, she blinked several times, attempting to clear her muddled thoughts. “I can’t stay with you, Jack. We’ve not discussed our feelings. Our future.”

  “Our future is together,” he whispered close to her ear. “Ev
en a half day apart has made me realize that.”

  Holly held onto his arms. “Together?” That word sounded so right.

  “You’re freezing, sweetheart. Let me warm you.” He pulled her back against his body, his fingers working the buttons at the back of her dress.

  She let out a nervous giggle. “If I am cold, shouldn’t I leave my clothes on?”

  He’d undone the last button. “You’ll have to trust me on this one. The quickest way to warm you is by taking them off.”

  Trust? Did she trust him? She’d told him all of her hurts, and he’d shared his too. “I do trust you,” she answered, pulling away to look up into his gaze. If they were going to really love each other, one of them had to stop guarding his or her heart.

  By way of answer, he began tugging the sleeves of her gown down her arms. Once he’d removed the bodice, he shimmied the gown down over her hips.

  “Jack?” It was the first time she’d said his name out loud and the single word trembled on her lips.

  He held her face in both of his hands, looking down at her, his features soft and warm. “Holly,” he said back, leaning down to place a light kiss on one of her eyes. Her lids fluttered closed and her hands grasped his wrists. He lifted, only to bend back down, kissing the other. “Let me show you how good it can be between us.”

  Then his lips tickled her nose, her cheeks, the line of her jaw, the sensitive skin just behind her ear. His touch was achingly gentle and filled with a tenderness she’d never experienced before. Something had shifted and she was certain she knew what it was. Jack loved her the way she did him. Her heart soared as she gave a quick nod of approval.

  This was what she’d been waiting for.

  * * *

  Jack held her face in his hands, marveling at the softness of her skin, the delicate color in her cheeks, the feel of those plush lips under his. He had one driving need. He’d make her his. Bind her to him so that she had no choice but to marry him.

  He didn’t know if he could ever allow himself to love again but he could give her all that she needed in this world. A home, a family of her own, a title even. He knew she wanted more. Hell, Holly wanted everything a man could give, and he winced a bit, knowing that he didn’t offer his whole heart.

  But he couldn’t. That was just too much.

  He’d tried to explain in the letter why it was difficult for him to trust his feelings and she seemed to understand. Shrugging off his coat, he wrapped his arms about her again, lifting her from the floor. She wasn’t wearing a corset and he could feel the curve of her waist under the bands of his arms. Laying her on the bed, he set to work on her boots, easily removing them. Then he flipped up the hem of her petticoat and chemise, untying her pantaloons and pulling them off. Then, he started rolling her stockings down her legs. The muscles from all her walking made them shapely in a way that stole his breath. As the first stocking rolled past her knee, he planted a kiss on the inside of the joint, wanting to touch every part of her body until he’d mapped her out entirely.

  Her breath caught as he kissed lower along her calf, rubbing her adorable foot between his hands. “Are you warming up, sweetheart?”

  “Yes,” she gasped, rising on her elbows. The position plumped her ample bosom and he held back a groan of desire to see her positioned so.

  Damn, this woman so innocently and easily slayed him. This was why he couldn’t walk away.

  He moved to the other side, reaching under all her layers again to find the top of the other stocking. With her thighs bare, heat radiated from her center and, instead of bringing the stocking lower, he trailed his fingers higher, allowing them to brush through her curls at her apex.

  Her gasping moan was all the encouragement he needed and nudging her knees wider, he brushed his hand over her center again and again, until he started a rhythm, pressing firmer against her most sensitive nub.

  Her thighs quivered against his shoulders but he wasn’t even close to done. Pushing the layers of fabric higher, he noted the darker curls between her legs, and the lovely pink of her flesh. Sliding his hand down lower, he flicked his tongue against her sex, satisfaction filling him as she convulsed in pleasure and dug her fingers into his scalp. “You’re sweet even down here.”

  She moaned in reply and he grinned as he increased the pressure, feeling her body tighten and climb. Sliding one finger into her channel, he felt the moment her muscles convulsed and she shattered around him.

  Chapter Ten

  Never in her wildest imaginings had Holly thought it could be like this. Her body floated on a cloud of pleasure, his hands the only solid thing in the entire world.

  She splayed her fingers out on his shoulders, frustrated by the cloth of his shirt. She wanted to feel his skin. As if he knew her desire, he rose and untied the garment, pulling it over his head.

  Holly gasped as rippling muscle came into view. Her fingers itched to trace the lines and ridges of his flat stomach, weave her fingers into the hair that covered his chest.

  He removed his boots and then crossed back over to her. Smiling down at her, he loosened her petticoats, pulling them over her hips. With only her chemise still on, he traced her curves, starting from her shoulders and smoothing down her hips. “So lovely,” he murmured as he came back up her belly and then cupped her breasts in his hands. She gasped, her nipples hardening as she arched into his touch.

  “Holly,” he said, his voice rough and craggy and then he was pulling her chemise over her head. She wiggled to help him, wanting more of his hands, more of his skin against hers.

  Once the fabric was over her head, she’d expected him to start touching her again but instead, he stared down at her. “Jack?”

  He lifted his gaze to hers. “You’re so beautiful, Holly.” Rather than touch her body, he skimmed his fingertips down the side of her face. “I never imagined how perfect you’d be.” Then he grinned. “I mean, I imagined but even I didn’t anticipate.” And then he was on top of her, his body covering hers, his heat warming her from the outside in. His mouth captured hers in a frantic kiss that left her breathless.

  “I want you to be mine, Holly,” he pushed out between kisses. “All mine. No one else’s.”

  “Yes,” she whispered against his lips. “All yours.”

  That was all the encouragement he needed. Wrestling down his breeches, his rock-hard member pressed against her soft, wet flesh. He groaned at the touch but equally powerful were the way her arms twined about his neck, the way she opened for him without hesitation.

  As he pushed inside her, Jack felt her maidenhead break and her body stiffen. He stopped, holding her close and kissing her face. Dimly he realized that he was whispering words in her ear. He wasn’t even certain what he said, he just kept talking as she relaxed and he moved again.

  Her arms twined about his neck, her fingers gliding through his hair. Her supple contours fitted against him in the most satisfying way as he finally slid from her body and then pushed back in.

  Pleasure tingled along every nerve ending as her cheek rubbed against the bristle on his face. “This is marvelous,” she murmured. “You’re so wonderful, Jack.”

  He swallowed, emotion rising inside him at the words. Women had uttered similar phrases before, but somehow, this was different. Or maybe he was different because this time, he believed her. He wrapped his arms behind her back drawing her closer as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Holly,” it came out as a half groan, half plea. “Please.”

  “I’m here,” her hands traced down his back. “I’m yours.”

  “Mine,” he grunted out, sliding in and out of her body. “Holly, you are mine always.”

  “Always,” she repeated, finding his lips and kissing him until he couldn’t see, speak, or even breathe.

  Faster and faster he moved as she held him close. Tomorrow, he’d secure their future. Tonight, he’d lay his claim.

  “Jack,” she whispered against his lips. “I need you to know that I love you.”
r />   He choked as the words penetrated his fog and pushed him over the edge of his lust. He cried out, pressing her to his chest. “Holly,” he cried out.

  “I’m here,” she whispered. “I love you.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut, his body collapsing onto hers. He would never let her go.

  * * *

  Holly woke with the first rays of the sun shining into the room. She was so warm and cozy, she squeezed her eyes tighter, not wanting to wake.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” a baritone rumbled behind her. Her eyes popped open. Jack.

  He was pressed to her back, one arm and one leg slung over her body.

  Turning her face to the side, she looked over her shoulder. His hair was mussed, his face relaxed, a gentle smile on his lips. “Hello,” she replied, twisting under the weight of his limbs to face him. “I slept amazingly well, you?”

  His smile widened. “Never better.” He nudged her onto her back, his weight settling on top of her. Her legs naturally parted, creating a cradle for his hips. “I say we make a rule that we wake up like this every day.”

  She attempted to giggle but it came out in breathy gasps. Partially because her heart was already racing but also the weight of him made such a sound difficult. “You’re crushing me.”

  He slid his lips down her neck, one arm sliding under her to brace his own weight while the other began an exploration of her chest. “I didn’t get nearly enough time exploring your body last night.”

  He tweaked one of her nipples, causing her breath to gasp out as she slid her fingers into his hair, giving the strands a good tug.

  Jack smiled against her neck. “I like it when you pull my hair.”

  She tugged harder, her legs tightening around his. “Do you?” His words made her feel powerful. His mouth continued to slide down her chest until he pulled one of her nipples into his mouth.

  She gasped in a breath, that ache, which was beginning to feel familiar, throbbing between her legs. This man made her weak and strong.